Finding Myself in Uganda

The Invitation

Charli Matthews sent me a text in February that stopped me in my tracks:“

I was wondering, if I go back to Africa, would you want to come with me?”

I reread it a dozen times before replying in about two seconds with a confirmation.

Two months later—after a teensy passport mix-up, a round of vaccinations, and a lot of prayers mostly focused on surviving two back-to-back nine-hour flights without facing claustrophobia-induced anxiety diarrhea—I was on my way.

Facing the Unknown

As the trip drew closer, people kept asking how excited I was to be traveling to Africa. I wanted to say I was thrilled, but honestly, I couldn’t feel excited when I had no idea what to expect.

My friends Brian and Charli were regulars on this mission trip, but they had never shared much detail about what the trip itself was actually like. I assumed this meant they were keeping something from me that might scare me out of going, but I didn’t press. Probably because I’m not scare of much; I’m pretty tough. (I am admittedly a little leery of spiders. And by “leery,” I mean full-blown panic. Also, frogs weird me out. I don’t trust a lizard. Oh, and I would come to learn on this trip that I am against eating a fish that is looking back at me from the plate. Turns out that’s a hard pass. And of course there’s the whole claustrophobia thing. But outside of those, like I said: Tough. As. Nails.)

The Inexplicable 

Now that I’ve been there, I understand why Brian and Charli didn’t tell me much about it. They couldn’t. It’s not something you can adequately put into words. We’ve been back in the U.S. for months, and I’m still trying to get my head around it. Thankfully as a photographer, I can rely on images to tell the story for me, but here’s my best attempt at sharing one part of the experience that changed me.

Teachers

I didn’t think I’d be doing any actual teaching on this mission trip. My role, I figured, was photography. (Taking pictures counts, right?)

Charli thought differently. She informed me that on this trip, everyone is a teacher. That is the mission. To share the gospel through gifts and service, yes. But without any context around the why, what good would we really be doing?

And that’s how I found myself standing in the dirt outside a church, Bible in hand, teaching a group of Ugandan women about Jesus and His very important exchange with the Samaritan woman at the well. Most of the women didn’t own Bibles. Many had likely never heard the story before. And none had been told what it meant that Jesus chose a woman as the first evangelist in history.

The revelation lit them up the same way it did me the first time I heard it. They were thrilled to hear this message, and I was thrilled to have shared it with them.

The Gift

When I look back on those few minutes, I marvel at how, without time to worry or second guess, I was equipped to carry out the mission God had for me. It wasn't to experience a different culture or witness elephants and monkeys roaming free in their natural habitat. It wasn't even for the pictures. It was to encourage my sisters in Uganda. He knew those amazing women would do as much for me as I would for them.

And then, on day two of our women’s gathering, He gave me another unexpected gift. (I picture Him holding it behind His back, grinning in anticipation of the happiness it would bring His girls when He finally presented it.)

An afternoon storm had delayed our session, requiring a pivot from the agenda. Charli suggested I take portraits of the women before we got started with the Bible lesson. My heart said an emphatic yes, but my brain panicked: the rain had made everything muddy, and the heavy cloud layer was still lingering. There didn't appear to be a pretty backdrop that would also provide good light. 

This was worrisome to me because realistically, this may have been the only time most of these women would ever stand in front of a camera, and I desperately wanted to provide them with the very best images I could offer. 

And then I found it: two rows of banana trees running alongside the handmade bricks of the church. The cloud cover allowed for a perfect filter, and the oversized leaves, combined with the dark, soaked earth and rustic texture of the bricks created an authentically perfect Ugandan backdrop.

When I asked the group if they wanted to model, they didn’t run and hide because they weren’t given time to primp. They didn’t tell me to come back after they’d dropped a few pounds. Some were giddy at the opportunity; others were shy at the start. But everyone was UP for it.

And then the magic happened.

They twirled their colorful dresses and threw their heads back like they'd modeled for years, staring with a sultry gaze into my lens one moment and wrinkling their noses in howling laughter the next, as the other women giggled and clapped and cheered them on. They were radiant; like butterflies emerging from their chrysalises. 

In just a few clicks of a shutter, those 40 women shrugged off the weight of their daily lives and let themselves step into the spotlight, embracing their beauty and femininity. And they (we!) had a ball.

That was the gift. And Jesus had been saving it for me. What a friend I have in Him!

My Own Chrysalis

Later, I discovered Charli had filmed the entire session. Watching the videos, I saw myself differently. I realized photography isn’t my true gift, it’s just the vessel. My gift is helping people find and reveal their unique beauty, and celebrating it with them.

In those videos I saw myself walking in my purpose. I was in my happy place that day, knowing that the pictures meant far less to these women than the experience they were having during our time together. 

That's what I'm made to do: show people what it means to be seen and celebrated. 

I don't need to worry about how my work compares to others', because every face that appears in front of my lens has been put there to help me fulfill my purpose. Jesus will work out the rest. Given that, there is just no room to compare, or for that matter, to even question whether any opportunity is within the scope of my abilities.

The Discovery

I didn't go to Africa searching for anything, but in many ways, I found myself there. I suppose there is a lesson in that. When you feel a nudge to make a move, it’s probably worth exploring. You don’t need all the details. Jesus knows them.

Go. Do. Wherever you follow Him promises the adventure of a lifetime. And who knows? You may just discover your purpose while you’re on the journey.